The Cinderella Complex

How misguided notions of virtue can poison workplace morale – and what you can do about it.

Image by petitetiaras

Meet Cinderella. She’s polite, efficient, and highly skilled at multi-tasking. She gets up early and works hard all day, with little assistance or encouragement from those around her. Her tasks are no source of personal fulfillment, but she knows that someone has to do them. Cinderella is very patient and mature, and despite her frustration, she limits herself to the occasional sarcastic comment about her colleagues.

On the side of her desk, she spends her free time working on a personal project that exhibits her true creativity and skills. This project holds the key to one day landing the position of her dreams, and also allows her to have a little bit of fun. Cinderella’s boss is adamant that this project never cut into her regular duties. With a little help from her friends, Cinderella’s side project takes shape.

But just as things are finally coming together, her jealous colleagues swoop in for a piece of the accomplishments. Suddenly they’re staking a claim on Cinderella’s project, hungry to take credit for her effort. In the end, they end up tearing it to pieces.

Cinderella’s boss – who is apathetic at the best of times – does nothing to prevent this backhanded and petty betrayal. Allowing Cinderella to grow and flourish would just mean she’d have to tackle the daunting task of replacing her and, worse, would no longer get to reap the benefits of Cinderella’s productivity.

But ol’ Cindy is ever the optimist. One of these days things will work out.

(Cue fairy Godmother.)

I imagine that scenario seems familiar to more than a handful of readers. If it isn’t you, it’s a friend or a colleague – somehow it seems like they’re stuck on the hamster wheel of a 1950s animated family film, with no royal ball or prince in sight.

The Ghost of Horatio Alger

Everyone loves an inspiring rags to riches tale. In the late 1800s, Horatio Alger, Jr. published over one hundred stories – mostly focussed on the same idea: that “any poor boy with patience and an unwavering commitment to hard work can become a dazzling success.”

A good work ethic and a positive attitude are valuable skills to have in any job. Unfortunately, North American literary and cultural history is saturated with the idea that with a little luck, this is more or less all it takes. Call it bootstrapping or the myth of the self-made man – in an effort to inspire ambition, inventiveness and optimism, this individualist perspective on success has permeated our cultural consciousness.

Thus we have middle-aged, middle-class accountants like Gene Marks, who write columns for Forbes arguing that poor black children need only study hard and use the Internet in order to go to college and succeed in elevating their station in life. Naturally, obtaining a solid education is invaluable. But Marks fails to take into account that getting good grades is very difficult when you are rarely eating properly, and buying “a cheap computer” with which to browse Project Gutenburg and host Skype study sessions seems laughable in the context of a family who struggles to afford adequate clothing and keep a roof over their heads. And it’s a real challenge for children to get to a library if their neighbourhood is unsafe or quite simply does not have one.

But I digress.

At the moment, the Horatio Alger Myth is most frequently discussed in the context of the Occupy protests, and the deterioration of social mobility in the United States. But that’s a different matter, and the concept comes into play in myriad other contexts – one of which is the office.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

When the concept of a virtuous employee is equated to one that works hard and maintains a positive attitude, the Cinderellas of our offices are setting themselves up for burnout. They maintain a high level of productivity, playing by the rules and swallowing their objections when undermined or mistreated – all in anticipation of a reward, raise or promotion that never seems to come.

So what would have happened to Cinderella, if that invitation to the ball never arrived, or if the fairy godmother never showed up?

Like so many employees, she is headed for a burnout, burdened by the notion that hard work plus optimism equals reward and success. She might stay motivated for a while by maintaining a process-focussed sense of ownership and connecting with like-minded communities, but through little fault of her own, Cinderella is neither healthy nor sustainable as an employee as long as she exists in a flawed system that does not consistently reward the virtues it advocates.

This is why it is of utmost importance that we continue to have conversations that promote new virtues, identify relevant skill sets, and teach us how to work differently as opposed to simply working harder. We need to empower Cinderella to speak up and suggest new ways of working, and to reward her not only when she optimizes the process for making breakfast, but also when she demonstrates methods to completely redesign the distribution of tasks for increased overall productivity.

We need to allow Cinderella to raise concerns and not, through fear or subtle persuasion, try to silence anyone.


Of Mice and Fairy Godmothers

But apart from keeping these conversations going, what else can we do?

Well, if you ever happen to find yourself in the rare position of Fairy Godmother – act. If it is in your power to solve someone’s problem, enable them to take a prudent risk, hire them for a dream job you know they’re qualified for, or help them achieve their goals... do it. Very infrequently are we able to enact solutions to others' problems, but it does happen. Assume authority and turn some mice into horses, damnit.

Speaking of mice: Cinderella wouldn’t get very far without the support and aid of her friends and allies. More often than not (even when we are Cinderellas ourselves), we have the opportunity to help someone out, even if it is only in a small way. It could be something as simple as stitching the hem of a dress, or something as pivotal as delivering a key or helping pull a carriage.

The mice are never the star of the show. They don’t get to marry Prince Charming and they don’t get the credit. But they help Cinderella because she deserves it and because they can. Mice aren’t after the credit. So maybe you’re no super-powered fairy, but if you can sew on a button or help someone out when they are overworked – do it! Provide a listening ear or a helping hand, and Cinderella will get you out of a mousetrap when you really need her. And who knows? Maybe one day she’ll take you away to the royal castle.

Either way, you'll have gained a career-long friend and ally.